Remember Monday

The Market went and had another Monday. And I'm here to wrap it up. Again.

NBER is it Cold in Here
The National Bureau of Economic Research not only boasts one incredibly official sounding name, but also is the official arbiter of US business cycles, which sounds even more official and, quite frankly, downright important. Anyway, one of their reps said the following yesterday:

"Industrial production, real income, employment, retail sales--on these fronts, February was terrible, March was slightly less bad, and it is not because in April we saw smaller falls than expected that we should celebrate."

Just so you know, the major indices took a giant crap today. Maybe it's just a coincidence.

I'm About Over Microsoft and Yahoo
Okay, so now that super curmudgeon Carl Icahn is finished making Yahoo rehash its horrible and torrid relationship with Microsoft, Crusty Carl and his boys are considering just how to get these two kids to kiss. Microsoft is now suggesting some kind of pseudo incorporation of the certain aspects of each company in an effort to marginalize something and streamline something else and dammit I just don't care anymore!

No one's taking down Google for at least a few years, and whoever does it will definitely have that same goal and a strong interest in uniting to do so. As it looks to me now, Google, Microsoft and Yahoo will all be one company before my first gray hair. And believe you me, Google will be doing all the buying.

(Note: Please keep in mind that I hardly ever know what the hell I'm typing about.)

Cynical Mind Searches for Ulterior Motive
Sohu.com, a Chinese online gaming service provider, suspended its services for three days in honor of the earthquake victims in that country. This is a sincere gesture. You just don't see that kind of stuff too often in business so I'm gonna ignore the marketing benefits, compliment Sohu on the gesture and move on.

Electronics Arts Wants That Ass
Electronic Arts has been after Take Two, makers of all the Grand Theft Auto games, for like months now. EA just made their third bid for Take Two's loving. Sometimes, EA, you just have to realize that the bitch is not that into you and move on.

Analysts All Hate Each Other
From what I can tell, pretty much every financial services institution in the US downgraded pretty much every other financial services institution in the US yesterday. At least they all see how they scum.

Though I only consider them scum compared to Krusty.

There is Now a Fund of Funds Exchanged on the Exchange
Okay, for the uninitiated, a mutual fund is a bunch of stocks in a fund that you can buy and sell as one big block. An ETF, or exchange traded fund, is a fund that trades on the open market, i.e., it has a fluctuating price that follows the market's jive (how many people are buying and selling it) as well as the fund's performance (how the stocks in the fund are doing).

Well, a while back some dudes decided to start selling mutual funds filled with mutual funds, which is (in my humble opinion) a stupid misuse of diversification. Anyway, now they have mutual funds that are filled with exchange traded mutual funds, and said funds full of ETF funds may soon become ETF funds themselves, which means, if you're scoring at home, that everything is confusing and nothing will ever make sense.

Kind of comforting in a weird sorta way.

And, because we haven't done it in a while, here is your motivational investment quote of the week:

"If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job."
aaaaa-----Malcolm Forbes